Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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