Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
