he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
