I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
