I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Life is so much better after having sex.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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