The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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