Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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