i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize