I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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