Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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