So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
