who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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