everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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