VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just tell him i said nine months
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
