handjob tips. give me some.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
