The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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