He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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