I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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