No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
