i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize