I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
