Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
