So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
