I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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