oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
