Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I supernannyed him into submission
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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