the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
