The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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