I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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