no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
