you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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