I faked an abortion last night.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
