Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
