She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
