Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
