I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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