i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i now understand why vodka
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
