I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize