Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
