i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize