I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He passed out mid-signature
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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