after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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