listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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