you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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