Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
