No awkward lesbian experiences without me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
