They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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