Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
