nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Randomize
