How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We named our party play list daddy issues
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
