Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He shit in the fireplace
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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