I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
