I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
