u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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