in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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