Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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