On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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