Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When did angry sex become our thing?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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