Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
