Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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