Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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