I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize