My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
