what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i will never coherently bang her
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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