I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
