I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Two words: blizzard sex
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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