I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
