I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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