I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
