those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
