i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
