If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
