i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize