God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
