Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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