he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
