Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
