What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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